Can you create an amusing story for wordplay that includes these “O” phrases?

Question by Silva: Can you create an amusing story for wordplay that includes these “O” phrases?
Once upon a time
Oh my God!!
Over the rainbow
On top of Old Smokey
Oh Give me a home where the buffalo roames
Or WHAT???
Orville Redenbacher

Best answer:

Answer by ☼♥Dillon
Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1875

From The Diary Of Miss Kitty Russell

Once upon a time Matt Dillon was MY man. ….all 6’6″ of him……Oh my God!! He was my very own Adonis. He didn’t exactly dote on me, but we had some realllllllll good times together….REAL good. There was ONE time that he was actually jealous of another man. The gent’s name was Curly Bob Cadwalater; A cowboy from ElPaso. Well…..One day Curly Bob came into the Long Branch and walked right over to the table that I was sharing with Matt. My piano player was hammering out a great tune…..Went something like this:

♫ Orville Redenbacher is a good old man. He makes his popcorn in a frying pan.
He pops all night and he pops all day.
Ohhhhhhh, the girls all love him ’cause he……”♫
(It gets a little raunchy after that.)

Anyway, Matt told him to leave me alone.
Curly Bob replied,”Or WHAT???”
Matt growled, “Or THIS!!!!” He got into a fight with Curly Bob.

Oh, Matt. Dear Matt. Little did he know that Curly Bob was the Middle Weight Boxing Champion of the World !!

Matt was knocked unconscious. I was his nurse. I was Over the rainbow……Just me and Matt , alone in my room. True….he WAS unconscious, but I didn’t care.
When he DID come to, he was half delirious…..Kept talking gibberish about his days in the army when he was a scout…

Matt: ” I remember being On top of old Smokey. Yeah!! Those were the days……
♫4″Oh Give me a home where the buffalo roames , where the injuns and cowboys play.
I had me a girl. She was my whole world.
Oh, Smokey …..why’d you go away?”♫

I swore that if a woman named Smokey ever came to town, I’d kill her. Little did I know that another woman WOULD come to town. I say, woman! HA!!! She’s no woman…..I’m not sure she’s even HUMAN ! The idiot known as Sunshine MacMoron (Kitty forever changes her name in order to abase Sunshine as much as possible) has been the bane of my existence since the day she first descended upon Dodge. She stole my man. STOLE him, I tell you!!!

(Kitty takes another swig of her 0 a bottle Merlot and launches into a song of her own)

♫ Oh give me a man with a velvety hand. A sweet talkin’ son-of-a-gun.
Let him shoot Matt’s new girl….take her out of this world!
Do dee do do do do DOOOOOOOO dee do♫”

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