Do You Need Any Intelligent Insults, Taunts and Rebukes (some here from the real pros)?

Question by Woody: Do You Need Any Intelligent Insults, Taunts and Rebukes (some here from the real pros)?
Particularly literate people have a way of delivering rebukes and insults. In fact, they do it a lot better than you do.

“A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.” –Louis Nizer

“I feel so miserable without you. It’s almost like having you here.” –Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” –John Bright

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” –Winston Churchill

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” –Irvin S. Cobb

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” –Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” –William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? –Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“He had delusions of adequacy.” –Walter Kerr

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” –Abraham Lincoln

“You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.” –Groucho Marx

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” –Groucho Marx

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” –Robert Redford

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” –Forrest Tucker

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” –Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” –Mae West

“She is a peacock in everything but beauty.” –Oscar Wilde

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” –Oscar Wilde

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” –Billy Wilder

Best answer:

Answer by momoftwo
These are great. They made me think of a sign hanging by the door where I work.

All of our members bring joy to our club…Some when they enter, and some when they leave.

What do you think? Answer below!