Q&A: Somebody mature & NOT disrespectful ; please help me.?

Question by Kαtιє Rosє: Somebody mature & NOT disrespectful ; please help me.?
Alright, so, my mom is very sick in the head.

Oh goodness I don’t even know where to begin 🙁

I’ll start it back when I was about 9, I am 17 now, nearing 18. My mom was always causing very extreme arguments with my dad, pointless ones, over food, over clothes, over everything. It gradually worsened to her ‘seeing particles’ in the air at some of the homes we were renting out in CA, & because of her we have had to move over 18 times. Probably more then that I suspect now that its 2008 nearing 09. We cant go to church or out in public without her saying that a person looking at her wrong is ‘out to get her’ or is ‘persecuting’ her in some manner. We have quit going to church because of it. My brother (hes 26) & my dad (its just us 4 in the household) we hate to go out in public with her.

When she causes her pointless arguments (she still does it, only within the past few years more often, like every other day) she a lot of times screams at the top of her lungs, like as if someone is trying to kill her. Shes very destructive, she throws things when shes mad, she uses the F word & all the other bad words you can think of, calling my dad them all….(I am now cursing as wildly as she is, I catch myself sometimes, I think its from living with her that it grows on you maybe). She thinks that the women “Ellen Degeneres” & “Oprah Winfrey” & “Tyra Banks” (yes, the women on TV) are going to hurt her somehow. She has bad mood swings, wonderfully nice one minute & loving & then a second later can start spitting as she talks & screaming & cursing terribly. She says that I am the blame for most of the arguments between my dad & her. My dad says that that is false. It hurts…. She has humiliated my dad & I infront of others, even in resturants. She slams doors, our front door handle is still broken because of her. She threatens to stab my dad sometimes & poision his food to kill him, she threatens to kill herself a lot I’ve taken notice too as well.
She tracks my dads time, watches him leave for work…. she controlls how he thinks, who he sees, how he spends his time & $, she trys to discourage my dad from seeing family & friends, a lot of times me too. She gets angry & resentful when when my dad & I are successful in a job or hobby or with me for college classes, she has made my dad leave a few jobs, she has caused a scene AT his job & gotten him fired. Her conversations escalate into threats or separation or divorce but yet when shes feeling better she dosen’t want my dad to ‘leave’, sometimes in front of my dad & sometimes just me in the room, when my dad yells at her for laying a hand on me (I do tell my dad & he does take care of it whenever she touches me) she whispers or sometimes yells at me that I’m going to ‘get it’ when ‘daddy’ is’nt around. She criticizes everything, literally, even little things. She says things sometimes it seems just designed to make my dad & I feel “incompetent”, “crazy” or “stupid”. (FYI she favors my brother because he takers her shi* & likes to let people walk all over him…) She blames my dads alcohol (he use to drink to get drunk a very very long time ago, he has quit drinking to get drunk), stress, me, others, or other life events for her behavior. She yells & screams at my dad that she wants him out of her life & me out of her life but other times she acts as if she can’t live without us.

She has a lot of unrealistic expectations and unrealistic demands of my dad, she has never drank or had drug problems, she blames my dad rather than admit to her own problems, she refuses to enter treatment and even insists that my dad needs treatment.

I have told cops in FL & so has my dad about some of this, of what we could remember on spot talking to them & FL police gave her a mental test out at their car, I don’t know what the did but they said shes perfectly sane. & I have called annoumusly on her for childrens services here in Iowa (Where we currently live) I think its called, & they came out & did an evaluation on her & said she was fine & the only problem they found in our house was food level, not enough food. They said they’d check up on me within 20 days & they never came back. My dad wont divorce, this is his 3rd marraige & he believes as do I that divorce is against the Bible.

I am very close to my dad, hes the one person in this world that I would do anything for, when hes sad, I am sad, when hes upset, I am upset, & when I see him cry (I have only seen him cry twice in my life) I cry. Him being a former Marine might be why he doesn’t cry I don’t know… Hes 62 & I can’t imagine my life without him.

2 nights ago my dad was drinking & he got kinda drunk…. my mom starting flipping out over something on the computer on her email that she received from her brother in NY & she kept saying how its “not him, its an imposter” on the email & she was getting in my dads face yelling & screaming & cursing & spittin like usual & he blew up, he backed h
he backed her into a corner & he got in her face & he was yellin at her how she needs to shut the F up & that hes tired of hearing her shi*. (They say that drunken words are sober thoughts & I believe it.) & she started screaming, screaming as if she was being murdered. It sounded horrible, but my dad didn’t lay a hand on her. Some how the cops were knocking on the door. 2 female cops & a male cop. No one even called them, & the neighbor wasn’nt even home. They said they heard a line open & heard the whole argument. The arrested my dad for domestic abuse I guess its called ? & took him to jail overnight.
MY DAD DIDN’T TOUCH HER!!! & the cops wont believe me. They only believe my mom, she told the cops that he pulled her hair, punched her & slapped her, SHE HAS NO MARKS AT ALL. & my dad keeps wanting to see me, but he knows that if he gets caught that he will go to jail for 60 days. (I guess a judge told him no contact with my brother, & I & my mom.)

My point here is that my moms the mental one & my dad is innocent, & meanwhile I want to see my dad more then anything in the world & I cant because of the risk of him being put in jail. I don’t know what to do. I cant stop crying because my dads a great guy, he dosen’t deserve this, hes loved by everyone he meets, he always makes anyone around him laugh, hes not a bad person at all, never was & never will be, & ME of all people knows him more then others. Thus me being his daughter. I may be young but I am NOT stupid, I know right from wrong, & this is terribly wrong……

I don’t want to loose my dad =(

Help someone?
I’m sitting here reading the responses from most of you & I am like cryin because there are people who do care….. & can try to direct me toward hope….

Best answer:

Answer by jamiegrammie
no not to long sweetie-pie. you are in the middle of a war. emotionally mentally physical. my heart is hurting so bad for you. your mom is definitely without a doubt suffering severe mental illness. yes she was smart enough to fool a test to appear sane. but i know people who can do that too. she needs to be committed your dad doesn’t have to divorce her. but he sure as heck can have her committed to force her to get help. she has made threat;s to harm herself and others .it’s only going to get worse. her paranoid turn physical against you or your dad or bro. it;s for her own good. i’m so sorry for you. if you ever ever need to vent talk etc. i’m jamiegrammie@yahoo.com anytime at all.{{{{{{{here’s a hug}}}}} i’m sure you could use one bless you and yours

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